January 2010
fmylife:
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
story of my life!
thelawnisdead asked: I'm 19 so I'm gettin' a cigar, you want anything for yourself fuzzpounder?
Birthday Party! →
Tell me what I should do for my birthday. I’m hittin my pillow hard soon.
“I’ll get this and a cigar, for me. You want anything pantywuss?”
– Dylan M.
Shit.
I just realized my birthday is in 9 days. What should I do for my party?
It's real. →
Check it out. And my birthday is on the third. Just sayin…
Air(nergy). →
I am so stoked for this!
Anonymous asked: You from outta town?
I'm getting a boner real soon!! →
“Hey bitch, wanna suck on my tooth?”
– Rick. aka Shoulder Guy.
So Bored. So Gone. Ask Me Something. →
Fuck
It’s all I hear around my house now that the Vikings lost. ha
8016386219
text it.
PHONE - SNATCH!!!
txtsfrmlstnght:
(740): Hi, my name’s audrey! (614): Max? (740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think I know someone who was that drunk last night!!
Perfect.
Sometimes when I talk, I don’t make any sense at all, but Erika always knows what I’m saying.
fmylife:
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
I think I know this guy…
copycats:
Hands Down by Michael Stipe &...
addmynewprofile! →
(via totalposer)
I added this years ago.
veganstraightedgefuckyou:
Frogball
...
fmylife:
Today, I was having sex with a guy, and as he came, he shouted “MORTAL KOMBAT!” His roommate shouted back, “FINISH HER!” FML
HAHAHA! hell yeah!
Mr. Bro
tophxxx:
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Agreed. Let’s see’em.
